I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
