You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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