I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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