discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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