Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
