just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
