Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
