Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
