You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize