He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
