You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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