also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
