we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
