Cold hands, warm shart.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
