it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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