Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
