And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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