No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize