Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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