is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
