You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
