Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize