i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
