I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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