Tell her she can't have a vagina
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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