She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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