Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
