so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize