dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
