I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
