im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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