Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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