i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
