Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I made him laugh his dick is mine
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
