how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
