The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
