What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
