and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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