i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
