My hand turned me down
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
