My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't turn off my feet"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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