I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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