Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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