i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
sex in a hospital.. check
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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