all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
