Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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