You really coming over, don't trick.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
