so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
