my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
time to smoke my breakfast
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hippo gnu deer
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
