you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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