come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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