She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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