This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
