I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
