I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
