Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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