whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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