Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
