that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He felt like a one man threesome
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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