he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
